The Man of My Dreams
“You give me a tremendous desire to love.” ~Hiroshima Mon Amour (written by Marguerite Duras)
[dropcap]T[/dropcap]here is a man who lives in my dreams. I’ve never actually met him. I have only passed him in a bar, heard his voice on the phone and looked in his eyes through this parallel universe we call “The Interwebs.”
No, I don’t know him, but my soul won’t let him go. He visits me in my dreams when I least expect it.
I’ve asked myself, Who is this man? What does he want with me? Why do I feel so close to him? Why does this keep happening?
And (seriously), Am I crazy or is the Universe trying to tell me something through my dreams?
You see, for 13 years, I could count on my two hands how many dreams I’d had. During that period, I hardly slept at all (largely due to the fact that I was helping my mom deal with her “dance” with cancer). And now looking back, I’m pretty sure I never dove into the REM state . . . so dreaming was just rarely a part of my reality.
Since I started meditating, though, and actually sleeping every night, my dreams have become extraordinary. They are so real, I’m not sure I can even call them “dreams.” A number of times, I’ve been able to communicate with my mother, who passed away 4 years ago. In these “experiences,” she has answered all my questions, showed me “heaven,” and helped me get a deeper understanding of both death and the after-life. DUDE! That’s clearly a good sort of dreaming!
God's Forgotten Language - by John A. Sandford This classic book explores the psychological and spiritual significance of dreams, drawing largely from the work of the totally tapped-in Swiss psychologist Carl Jung. It shows how dreams can help us find healing and wholeness, and reconnect us to the truly spiritual world we all inhabit. Read the Book >
Frequently, I “watch myself” peacefully sleeping away, like I’m “observing” myself sleep. And then when I “wake up,” I’m super-good to go, typically having way more clarity than I’d ever had before. Boom!
Another aspect of my “new” form of dreaming is this: information seems to download into my mind while I sleep. During these downloads, I see how things work—sometimes small things, sometimes big things. For example, one night I went to bed and soon I was shown a giant grid that looks like a chemistry chart, only made up of all of our thoughts. I could see how they fit together perfectly and make up our reality. The chart is like a cosmic umbrella wrapped over and around us. When I woke up, I immediately knew how powerful all of our thoughts are. They literally make up our reality.
And every now and then, I find myself roaming the Universe during my sleep time, knowing full well I’m just visiting “foreign lands.”
I have no fear when any of these experiences happen—they’re just my new “normal.”
And then there’s him . . . the guy who keeps showing up when I’m sleeping. He shows my crazy heart how to love, and he bares his soul in my presence. When I look in his eyes, I feel an incredible sense of safety, and whatever I need, he’s giving it to me.
One evening, though, this mystery man was particularly reserved about showing me his true feelings. I could tell he was scared I wouldn’t love him back. When he’s in my dreams, we always communicate with our minds, instead of with words. So, I sent him a strong thought, assuring him I, in fact, loved him back. A moment later, his heart literally jumped out of his chest, with a dozen or so images of the shape of his heart following his “original” one. It took my breath away and showed me that it’s okay to feel scared or reserved. Love always finds a way, and your heart will know what to do.
If I get married, I want to be
married. ~Audrey Hepburn
These days, I tend to be very private and self-contained. I feel fine being alone for long periods of time and have really slowed down the dating train. In recent years, I’ve changed how I view relationships and the dance of courting. Unless it’s real, I don’t want it. I’m no longer interested in “seeing how things go” or thinking, “Maybe if I force myself to go on a couple more dates with him, I’ll start having feelings.” Been there, done that.
In the past when I’ve dreamt about marriage and “forever,” it was always the same scenario. Walking down the aisle towards the “wrong” man, then turning around and bolting out of the church. Freaking out like a woman gone mad. Being with the wrong person felt like a living nightmare. Since then, I’ve decided that, as Audrey Hepburn so brilliantly said, “If I get married, I want to be really married.” Problem solved.
Mainly because I’ve been shown (in my “dreams”) what Mr. Right looks like, my fears of Mr. Wrong have been squashed. That is, my “visions” have told me a sweet tale, shown me what to be looking for, given me some reassurance that something magical exists beyond my lackluster experiences in the dating world.
Yes, this “man of my dreams” has revealed to me what true love is . . . and he’s confirmed for me what is real. Even if he isn’t (yet).
[bctt tweet="Every now and then, I find myself roaming the Universe during my sleep time."]